One of the most beautiful tools I have found so far in my human existence are the words, “I’m Sorry”. It has fixed so many situations, so fast, with so many people, in so many circumstances. From my own wife (often) to total strangers in a crowd when coming from the heart it works magically. We apologize based on someone’s feelings, not the facts! Meaning, that you may say something in all benevolence but if it offends someone else, in this case the message was misunderstood so it is retracted and re-transmitted with an apology.
What fascinates me is that regardless of how emphatic the person in front of me is, they can always tell if the words are coming from the heart. Even angry drunks will immediately calm down if you really mean you are sorry. Speaking of dealing with irrational people, when you use these words, you truly are sorry that someone may have misunderstood your words, gestures or a scenario. I has nothing to do with diminishing your status. At all times in all conflicts, we should honestly be sorry, because the Path of an Enlightened person is one of Harmony.
Lastly, when someone that matters says or does something that requires an apology to you. Regardless of your feelings, this is an opportunity to establish the how you’d like to be treated. Observe closely if the apology is sincere. People that Love you never want to hurt you, and will naturally feel sorry (or will get upset that they made a mistake). Toxic people either just want to move on from that moment or secretly enjoy having one upped you. With these don’t escalate things, let it go temporarily, allow emotions to cool off and bring it back again at least 24 hours later. Observe closely their reaction again. Remember, the Wise Person, Observes…and Decides.
To Contact Shaman Flavio: