Last week, Friday at noon, I was standing in a hospital room. although much was going on around me, I was focused on a specific goal. Within minutes, I had brought serenity, healing and peace to the room. I had arrived a few minutes earlier and people had been crying for their loss, a few feet away, separated by just a curtain, an older lady had been wailing in pain, she was another patient. In front of me was the loved one that had been alive less that an hour before. She had been in her 70’s and for the last couple of weeks, had been fighting for her life. She had been dealing with respiratory, circulatory and renal complications. A few days prior, I had not been able to recognize her due to so many tubes coming in and out of her face. Just hours before, she was still making plans for the future. She wanted to travel more, but immediately after leaving the hospital she just wanted a french bread toast with butter and a little coffee. When I heard this, my focus was on internally stabilizing her and making her as comfortable as possible. As I think of that moment now, it makes my heart want to buckle. In private, I have done my prayers and have communicated my feelings and wishes to Higher Forces, and have tried to be as wise as I know I am not. Life is a journey and a learning experience for the soul. We will all reach the point She did last Friday and when that day arrives, regardless of our plans, preferences and desires, we must trust that it will be the perfect day.
I had to leave the hospital a few hours later because I had a new client coming in that afternoon. Later that Friday, for the first time in two days I was able to catch up on my texts and emails. The day before, someone in her late 20’s had written me a message about how terrible her life was because she had no friends and that she was considering doing something terrible to herself. The next day, I spent an hour with her on the phone. I reminded her that she was young, healthy, had both her parents that loved her and specially that she was free (physically and legally) to do and go anywhere. I suggested, she take a trip overseas and change environments, this in itself is the old shamanic vision quest, but after so many lame excuses (and after the struggle I had witnessed a few days earlier), I gave up on trying to convince her how lucky she was.
I don’t think there is any amount of wisdom one can impart that can teach one person’s struggle to another. The human experience is not designed to do that. We are each within the center of our own universe and deserve to learn at our own pace and within our own conditions. Often, I need to remind myself (and my clients) that my job is to ease discomfort and to increase strength, but never to impede a valuable lesson that life needs to give. Living, Dying, being young or old and regardless of other conditions your life is your sole experience. When life gets complicated or painful for you or a loved one, remember that we are here for our own personal Path and that it is at all times in perfect balance with something bigger than us. Avoid comparing yourself to others and avoid frustrating yourself with other’s relationship to their Path. Be you, be loving and trust that life teaches each one of us what is needed in a perfect (and very often incomprehensible) way.
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One thought on “Life, Death, the Young and the Old”
Thank you! this article answered a lot of my questions, my Mom passed away a year ago, I know she din’t want to die, she was told 6 months before that she only had a couple of months left with us. She had expressed to us she wished she could be here longer and did not want to die yet. I have struggled thinking what must have gone through her mind for those six months, Not wanting to go but knowing she had no choice……