There is a pattern that can develop almost unnoticed in our relationships and environments. Someone needs something from you. That need becomes an expectation. The expectation slowly becomes an assumed responsibility. And eventually, if the expected outcome does not happen, somehow it becomes your fault.
Need → Expectation → Assumed Responsibility → Blame
Suddenly everything and everyone seems to be pointing a finger at you, even though you may have simply been minding your own business.
We have all seen movies where someone happens to be near the scene of a crime and, because they look suspicious or circumstances happen to point in their direction, they become the accused. There is something psychologically similar that can happen in ordinary life. Proximity becomes involvement. Involvement becomes responsibility. Responsibility becomes blame.
Narcissistic personalities can certainly participate in this dynamic. Psychology recognizes patterns such as externalization of blame, entitlement, projection and difficulty accepting responsibility when one’s self-image is threatened. But narcissism is only one possible explanation. Sometimes there is no narcissist involved at all.
Sometimes there are simply too many needs.
Everything Needs Something
As a Shaman, I believe there is something deeper happening within the energetic construct of physical existence.
Everything living requires something.
Animals provide perhaps the clearest example because they generally act according to their nature. Hunger demands food. Territory demands protection. Reproduction demands competition. Survival itself creates constant requirements.
Human beings exist within the same biological architecture, although consciousness gives us considerably more choices about how we respond to it.
As I found a quiet moment to write this article, my dog was literally sitting beside me wanting to go to the park.
He isn’t narcissistic.
He simply needs something.
And there lies an important distinction. I’m writing this part after I took him out by the way.
The world is constantly requesting our attention, energy, money, time, emotional involvement and action. Our families need something. Our partners need something. Our businesses need something. Our friends need something. Our bodies need something. Even the possessions surrounding us require maintenance.
None of this is inherently unhealthy.
The problem begins when another person’s need silently becomes our responsibility without our conscious agreement.
And eventually:
“I need something from you” becomes “You were supposed to do this for me.”
Then, if the desired outcome doesn’t materialize:
“This happened because of you.”
That is where the line must be drawn.
Awareness Is Not Enough
Some spiritual teachers might prescribe greater awareness: remain conscious of everything happening around you so nothing catches you by surprise.
Others might recommend simplification. Reduce possessions, obligations, relationships and commitments so fewer things are demanding your energy.
Both approaches have value.
My position at this time is somewhat different.
Shamanism places tremendous importance on communication and on Ayni — sacred reciprocity.
When responsibilities become confused, I believe things should come to a stop.
The misunderstanding should be addressed.
The energies involved should be acknowledged.
And responsibility should be clearly established.
Financial outcomes, health, emotional wellbeing, friendships, business situations and the personal decisions of other people may affect you without necessarily being caused by you. It’s important to be cognisant of this.
Someone experiencing a consequence does not automatically make the nearest person responsible for solving it.
In Shamanism, ritual is one of the ways through which we deliberately bring something into being.
Ritual consists fundamentally of actions combined with intentions.
I find that principle equally useful outside ceremonial practice.
When you suddenly find yourself accused, blamed or somehow carrying responsibility for a situation that feels foreign to you, examine three things:
What did I intend?
What did I actually do?
What responsibility did I consciously commit to?
This requires genuine self-examination. We cannot use spirituality as an excuse to escape consequences that legitimately belong to us. If our actions contributed to something, that deserves acknowledgment. If we accepted a responsibility, we should honor it.
That too is Ayni.
But the opposite is equally important.
If you did not create the situation, did not act toward producing it and never accepted responsibility for it, do not accept responsibility merely because somebody assigns it to you.
Another person’s accusation does not automatically create your obligation.
Draw the Line
This is where decreting your reality become profoundly important.
A decrete does not have to be hostile. It simply establishes jurisdiction:
This energy belongs to me. That energy belongs to you.
True reciprocity cannot exist without that distinction.
Ayni does not mean carrying everyone else’s burdens. It means participating consciously in an exchange in which responsibilities, actions and energies remain properly aligned.
When those lines become confused, stop.
Clarify.
Communicate.
Establish what energy belongs to whom/what; and then continue forward.
At first, the decrete may be tested. People who have become accustomed to placing certain responsibilities upon you may attempt to cross it again. Stand firm—avoid the energies of anger, resentment or punishment.
Your attention, time and intentions are part of your life force. Your life force is yours for your own experience, purpose and evolution. This makes human beings sovereign and divine. That fact must be honored at all times, especially by You. You are the center of your consciousness, all emanates from Divinity to you and from you to your reality; this flow must never be reversed.

Your Life Force Should Be Directed by You

If you continually find yourself carrying responsibilities that were never yours, managing the emotional consequences of other people’s decisions, or sacrificing your own direction to maintain everyone else’s equilibrium, it may be time to examine the pattern at a deeper level.

My work combines traditional Shamanic practice with psychology, transpersonal understanding, and practical personal development. The objective is not to escape the realities of your life. It is to see them with greater clarity, identify what genuinely belongs to you, release what does not, and consciously direct your attention and life force toward the reality you intend to create.

This work is particularly valuable for accomplished professionals, entrepreneurs and individuals who function at a high level externally but recognize that certain relationships, responsibilities or internal patterns continue consuming disproportionate amounts of their energy.

Your success should not require surrendering your peace, your boundaries or your personal power.

If this article describes something happening in your life, I invite you to work with me privately. Together we can identify the underlying pattern, establish greater energetic and psychological clarity, and create deliberate movement toward the life you actually intend.

Work privately with Shaman Flavio
Visit HealerShaman.com to learn more or schedule a private session.

Protect your life force. Direct it consciously. Use it to build what comes next.