Using Disagreement to Grow Stronger

20180825_094558Humans naturally want to be happy. It is normal to avoid situations that are uncomfortable or painful, specially when it involves conflict with loved ones. As an Urban Shaman, I am a perpetual student of the Human Condition, so to me moments that happen naturally and that create discomfort as seen as opportunities for growth.

I just recently had one of those interactions with someone I respect very much. We were having an ideological conversation and as I touched on a negative stereotype I observed a reaction on my counterpart. She intelligently swayed away from the subject and kept a firm hold on her emotions, but too late, I had noticed and so I pushed the subject further. I even emphasized the negative bias. This was a conversation about race and their perceived intellectual limitations. I may have mentioned before here that we shamans do encourage judging books by their covers. We do this because we believe Mother Nature talks to us and never lies. If something looks a certain way, it probably is and we have developed a system to read certain characteristics in people’s body types and faces.

To make a short story even shorter, the conversation ended awkwardly and some emotions were rattled. Later, we spoke again, and this was the teaching:

  • It is healthy for people to disagree and even argue, as long as respect is kept
  • Sides should seek a resolution that elevates humanity as a whole
  • If there is apparent evidence for someone that something is bad or negative, this truth should be challenged until confirmed or proven wrong.
  • When involved in one of these uncomfortable discussions, emotions don’t need to participate, because it is not about ego, ignorance or malice; it is about “Resolve”
  • If your emotions complain, this is the sign that there is a weakness in one of the pillars of your philosophy and the subject should be explored until firmly settled.
  • Once all the discomfort has passed and (hopefully) the negative bias is proven wrong, although someone lost the argument, everybody in that exchange won, because humanity is elevated!

Take a deep breath, center yourself and appreciate your humanity. We are all one species within Mother Earth. Let’s not avoid uncomfortable dialogue, let’s explore it together and in the process increase our respect, resolution and common evolution of each other.

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