In all my years of shamanic practice, I have seen countless cases of human relations. There is one that I particularly find very disturbing, I call them the “Toxic Nurturers”. These are people that are usually well off, healthy, good looking and caring. Basically, they have all the deceiving attributes to lure you right into their toxic little inescapable trap.
Here’s how the process can begin. You somehow meet this loving person that suddenly takes a legitimate liking to you. The relationship or friendship moves very fast. Within a matter of days/weeks you find yourself in some commitment, job or living with this person. All along things seem fine and the “toxic nurturer” is constantly loving and giving. The problem is that you are either sinking in deeper emotionally or starting to resent this person. These feelings are originating from a subconscious understanding that in a very subtle manner this person sees you as broken. They have little expectations of your achievements and even anticipate your failures, so you can reinforce their world view. They need you to stay sunk in their set up so they can feel a sense of purpose. From the outside it seems like this person is helping you. From the inside it feels like you are trapped with no hope. They achieve this by constantly feeding you ideas, alternatives and opportunities that you don’t fit in with, basically designed for you to fail in. As an observer, it’s the intense resentment towards the benefactor that starts making me consider this could be going on.
I have had exposure to both sides of this equation. The person under the “toxic nurturer”, just needs to get out of there as soon as possible. It’s energetic, it can’t be seen but the victim is being detoured/delayed of their life destiny. Ironically, I have seen “victims” do very well and very fast after venturing on their own. This will predominantly happen for two energetic reasons:
- Through their Free-Will, the “Victim” amasses the courage to be sovereign. This will always yield help from their subconscious powers.
- The “Victim” is actually teaching the “Toxic Nurturer” that their world view is limiting. Helping The Universe bestow blessings and teachings to fellow humans also ignites your subconscious powers.
As for the “Toxic Nurturers”, in over ten years of practice, I have yet to have one stick around long enough to look into their own issues. They usually end up in my practice under the guise of trying to “repair” the relationship with the fleeing victim, or some other person (a current or future victim). It is never about them. These people have a very somber look of the world. They strongly believe in charity service and use it as a way to temporarily get a fix on their inner brokenness.
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